Is it just me or everyone who just started a blog go through this phase where they riddle themselves to exhaustion as to what to post the next day? Me? Me? Only me? …….okay….
Anyhoo, I’ve been spending a lot of my time writing stuff for some important stuff *trying to sound mature ehem ehem*, and having this bad habit of constantly twirling my pen or whatever material I have in my hand..except notebooks probably, might shoot to my face unexpectedly *cringes*.
I looked at my hand and hey, whaddya know…..the smallest pencil I’ve ever had. I mean seriously! It stands only about a third of my pinky (doesn’t look like in the photo though) and bugs me everytime I use it because its soooooo small I have to grip it tight just to write something with it.
I know what you’re inking, “*return the snotty bimbo voice* omigoood if you can’t write with it properly then just throw it away then you’re gonna complain and all that on your blog?! Grow up!”
DIE DIE DIE!! *internally screaming*
No, I get your point. Why do I, as crazy as I really am (hey, whaddya know another self-diagnosis haha), like to use it or keep it with me longer? I pondered to myself, why? I mean, it obviously pisses me off with using that, its not comfortable go use, and its simply….annoying, so why do I use it?
Trust me….. Took me days to figure out that one.
I looked back at my pencil and realized something. The pencil was a symbol for me, of what? Accomplishment.
Hey hey hey! I know here I go again with weird stuff.
The simplest thought that the pencil came to me all grown up and matured *sniffle* and ending up still in my possession all baby-like (bejamin button anyone?) made me feel accomplished. I mean how many times have you actually kept a pencil for so long that it just shrank to that size? Normally you’d lose it right? Or throw it away.
I kept showing people this pencil with a smug look on my face going, “HEY HEY LOOK COOL HUH?!” And all they’d every do is look at me with the blankest face you’d ever see. (Pfft…killjoy -_-)
The thing is the concept that I have spent so much of my time writing and aiming to keep this little bugger with me throughout its existence made me feel happy.
You see, life brings about a lot of stress in life that in the end you are overwhelmed by its power that confuses the hell out of your mind and breaks you down emotionally. Until the point comes when you don’t know what to do with yourself anymore. Everything spins out of control and things you like to do cannot be done because you have this huge amount of responsibility to do.
The things is, for me, to gain back that control, you start with the small things, like my pencil. Do things that may seem insignificant to others and maybe to you at some point, and finish it with the best of your ability. Your overly expensive pen you bought for school to look cool, use it till the last drop, you’d be amazed by yourself at how much patience and care you’d give it. You absolutely controlled yourself that, hey you know what you finished this pen.
The little accomplishments in life bring about the greatest colors in your life. You see the dad the stopped work just to enjoy a day with his daughter? He’s happy, rightfully so. That’s an achievement right there.
Start small, start with finishing up that sketch you weren’t able to do because you prioritized your job. Finish it and stick it to your office wall and marvel at how many people would drop by to look at your work. Or finish the burger you’ve been craving after months of gym. Hey, a cheat day isn’t so bad (just make sure ITS A DAY. A DAY, NOT A WEEK).
Send yourself a smile with the little accomplishments you’ve made.
Now, next problem… How the hell am I supposed to sharpen the pencil?! ITS TOO SMALL! Augh, problems. Hahaha just kidding.
Till the next adventure inside my sleepy brain (Zzzzzzz…..)
See you *wink*
– Mindless Adventurer