The Art of Moving On…

Early post hahaha! *pats self in the back*

I’m posting this as a gift for a co-blogger here in WordPress (I promised her a gift so here it is), check her out right here: http://www.deepinsidethelonersmind.wordpress.com/

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A lot of people have failed in love more than life. But, more so did people succeed in love than life. The funny thing about love is it always comes as a choice, if you’re ready for it then go – chase after it, but if you’re not then wait it out. Love doesn’t control you. It never will. You control love. Why? Because its a choice.

When people say, “I fell in love at first sight”, its still a choice because you chose to look. You chose to be amazed by the beauty of the girl you just saw. When you start falling for your best friend, unknowingly…it came as a choice that you’ve considered to put your friendship to the next level and that consideration led to love.

But no matter how we look at it, choosing to love someone will never be wrong. You may have fallen for a married man/woman….that is not wrong….but choosing to act out on that love despite knowing that you’ll ruin a perfectly good marriage is WRONG.

The choices we make, as Dumbledore said(Harry Potter anyone?), makes us who we are. And that’s true, if you choose to be the blond bimbo that wrecks relationships then that makes you a….b**– I mean an annoying person at best. But, if you choose to respect the guy/girl you like and back off, that might make you a martyr, but it makes you an amazing person.

Despite the hurt of love,, people are still addicted to it. Imagine having your heart broken into a million pieces, picking those pieces up and gluing them together….only to just offer it to someone else who breaks it again to pieces. Humanity’s capacity to love is outstanding….

…….and our capacity to heal even more so.

We’ve all been broken a thousand times by people we love, either they didn’t love us back or time and fate just wasn’t on your side. Yet, I see so many people pick up their hearts and move on.

I, for one, experienced this. I understood every sappy love quotes on the internet after that, all those love songs became a reminder of what I thought could have been and I cried bucket loads of tears. But hey, life sucks, and love even more.

It was on my second year in college where I took this Speech class. We were supposed to be given a topic ON THE SPOT and talk about it for 3-5 minutes. Trust me, it doesn’t seem much but 5 minutes practically digging your brain for words is pure torture. When it was my turn, my professor told me to pick from a bowl of papers for my topic.

Guess what I got?

How to heal a broken heart?

DAMN! I was like. “Really!? Just….just….really!???!? THIS ONE?! OUT OF ALL THOSE PAPERS THIS ONE?!” My friends practically jumped out of their seats when I told them what I got. Everyone was like, “yieeeeeeee, love love love”. Guys….like no, stahp, please? augh -_-

I was dumbstruck as to what I’d say. It hit too close to home.

So in the end, I twisted the story because I wasn’t ready to share to everyone my story. (Sorry guys, I won’t tell you what it is because its too cheezy for my own good I might melt while typing it – lets just say I passed.)

Never have I forgotten the question I placed upon myself as to what could have happened if I actually told my story. I didn’t think it’d make much a difference. But it also made me wonder, “Seriously, how DO you heal a broken heart?”

Thousands of internet posts will tell you to love yourself blah blah, move on and party and have the time of your life and spend money on shopping to make yourself feel better blah blah. And I somehow disagree.

You see, these things just divert your attention to what you really feel. I know, you’re afraid to relive the memories your sadistic mind makes you remember, and you hate crying all the time. But get this, how long are you going to fool yourself into thinking, “I’m fine” ?

 On experience, I’m not trying to sound like an expert, what I learned for myself is that I should give my time to dwell on the truth and face the fear of sadness. Yes, I might have found myself huddled on a dark corner crying and talking to myself (express train to mental institute anyone?). But, it somehow takes the pain away because you’ve allowed yourself to be weak for once. Stop trying to be strong and allow yourself to see that you’re not a superhero that could take blow by blow of assaults.

Cry. Cry ’till your nose gets all clogged and your shirt is practically wet like you’ve taken a shower from wiping your tears. Just, cry. No one will ever…ever judge you.

The moment when you’d decide to stop and rest for a time, talk to your friends and let them know how you are. Friends are not psychics, sometimes they don’t know how you’re really feeling because well, you’re great at hiding the pain. But it REALLY wouldn’t hurt to open up and let them see the scars. You’d be surprised to see at how much these people love you.

After the ice-cream-pizza-bonding moments with friends, take the time off. Now this is where the fun comes in. Party like crazy (just..NOT TOO CRAZY..). Enjoy your life and divert your attention from the pain, you’ve given yourself enough time to wallow in self pity, open up, see the beauty of the world.

Give yourself a time to heal.

Moving on doesn’t come in a snap. It could take years. Don’t be too impatient and wait for your own heart to glue itself together and fix the pain inside.

Repeat the vicious cycle, cry a few times, bond and share with your friends and see the world. It may take  a few cycles to finally feel better. But trust me, you’d definitely learn how to love again soon.

After trying and trying, the last step in moving on comes face-first. When I tell you this it may sound preposterous or just plain stupid but, no. It will really help anyone.

Show love.

 Give other people the love you’ve felt before you had your heart broken. Share it to the world. Don’t focus itself to just one person, learn to open up and let your heart get its first baby steps to recovery. I’m not saying to force yourself to fall in love again, I’m just saying, show the love the people around you, who’ve been there for you all these times, the love you gave THAT ANNOYING-GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-GUY/GIRL. I mean…whut?

Seriously. show love. And soon enough, love will find you.

And….maybe, you could finally find yourself saying..

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Thank you!

See you soon!

– Mindless Adventurer

p.s Don’t forget to comment, like or reblog if you liked it 🙂

pps. Longest post evah!

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