Author’s Note: The reason I haven’t been able to post (to make excuses for myself), I have been in a vacation (FINALLY!) for a couple of days, I was supposed to post that so the world can see the beautiful IloIlo City in the Philippines
but guess what?
Someone stole the pictures I shot in the camera and saved it in their personal computer. Dang it.
Anyhoo, this is it for now. I’ll find the photos for my next post.
Perpetually being the only single human being in my group of friends, I have been called many things: “the adviser, the mediator, the hope-at-the-end-of-the-dark-tunnel” and all that. What can I say, I personally play an active part in making my friends happy, even if it means having my ears bleed out by listening to the incessant repetitions of how much of a tool my friend’s boyfriend is.
I get it, I get it. You hate him and you love him. *deep dejected sigh*
Seriously, what am I gonna do with these women.
I realized upon myself that girls have these so-called “Girl Code” that every single female being never forgets and automatically memorizes the moment they have best friends in their lives.
But I gotta say this, I know we have them, but I would like to point out that it is better if we also have the “Boyfriend Code”. These are a set of rules that I have come up with THROUGH THE COURSE OF MY EXISTENCE in being the emotional punching bag of my friends whenever we have guy problems. But listen up, these rules weren’t made for you ladies to feel good. Its a warning of some sort, a code of ethics perhaps.
Because I am so damn tired of my friends insulting our friendship over their relationship *explodes*
Woo. Calm down there bud.
Below are the set of rules whenever a certain “friend” comes in a relationship.
1. WE DON’T CARE.
Swear. We don’t. I mean, its touching and everything whenever your friend would ask permission from you or just an opinion whether she should say “yes” to the guy who has been literally on his knees courting your friend, but we don’t care either way. We seem like we do, but we don’t. I know, I may sound harsh and everything here but lemme explain.
It comes to the point that we want you to be happy. That’s it. The end. And if being with a guy makes you be happy then for god sake’s go for it. We trust that you know your thing, you know what’s right and wrong and come to think of it, even if we say no, dump that a-hole down the drain, would you really ignore him?
Trust me, you’d end up justifying your relationship to me with a 10 page summary that would say “the heart wants what it wants”. I get it. Asking me is a formality, but I know deep inside, you wound’t really care what my opinion is (maybe a bit) ’cause in the end you’ll follow your heart.
2. Third Wheeling is a thing.
Girls, I know for most of you, you are simply trying to be courteous and be a good best friend and all. But GOD! Really? Don’t you know that inviting me to your date (trust me any occasion with you guys together IS A DATE. UNOFFICIALLY IT IS) just makes the thing a whole lot worse? First off, the guy is torn between serving you and your wishes and trying to make himself look decent in front of me. Second, I am torn between wanting to crawl into my bed because of all your sweet and corny exchanges and banging my head the hardest way possible on the dinner table without both of you noticing.
3. SEPARATE. SEPARATE.
Okay, calm your — umm.. Just stay calm. I am not telling you to break up. I am telling you to learn how to separate things. If its a date…its a date…if its a hang out, then its A FREAKIN’ HANG OUT. Rarely do I even get to have you by ourselves enjoying our “girl time” and bringing your boyfriend just ruins everything up. I get that “you can’t live without him” but damn girl, what about me huh? Little miss second place in your heart?
Learn to balance our time together and your time together. People like me are not asking too much of your time, just one day in a few months may even suffice, but to take away that precious LITTLE time by busting my bubble and bringing your boyfriend over just to have you guys cuddle together against my sofa and me sitting on the COLD COLD floor alone is just pushing it a bit too much.
4. Know your boundaries
I am the type of friend who strives REALLY REALLY hard to be with you whenever you need me. Despite my busy schedule I try to find certain loopholes where I can text you a little “how are you’s” and “i miss you’s” here and there. So whenever you have troubles in your relationship, naturally I step up and comfort you the best that I can.
If you’re struggling with something, I get it. Cry and cuss and scream all you want and my ears are open. I don’t care if they bleed from exhaustion form your rants, I’ll listen to you. BUT IF YOU SPEND THE WHOLE HANG OUT TALKING ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND AND YOUR DATES AND HOW AWESOME EVERYTHING IS…..
I’ll haul this tub of ice cream in your face.
I love you, a lot. And I want to know that you’re happy. But if making our small time together just be a resting “reminisce memory lane” moment for you and your boyfriend, forget it. I am not friends with your memories, I am friends with that girl who used to laugh at our inside jokes and make fun of ourselves. Not the girl who can’t even be bothered to ask how her friend is doing these past few days. Nope. I’m WAY outta here. I know you love him, so stop shoving it in my face.
5. It’s not always fair.
Whenever you have problems with your guy, like I said. I am here for you. But get this. I will always be the friend who sees the silver lining, why? because I am the only sane one in the group, nope, just kidding. I am the only person not emotionally invested in the relationship. And I try to see how both sides work. So my friend, if you’re wrong about something in the relationship then girl, I might take his side.
Why? because I know that taking your side will DEFINITELY not make you happy despite what you think.
6. Keep in touch.
Just keep in touch. I know its hard by the “busy schedule of cuddling and cheezy stuff” you’ve got going on. But hello friend, he’s not your only world.
I was here first.
Little bit of back story:
The thing that inspired me to write this. i have two friends are in a relationship. And one completely forgets about my existence – her whole facebook profile is literally a series of posts of “i love you so much” “no i love you more”. I GET IT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER. And another one just got into a relationship recently and is now incessantly talking about her relationship. I posted about an activity I would like for us BFFs to do on our rare free time, only to have her message me that “oh i’ve done that already with my boyfriend”. Boom. Ignored.
I know I sound jealous and all that,
but hey, I just missed my best friend…not the boyfriend’s girl.
– Mindless Adventurer